Filed under: Christianity, Real Life | Tags: Christianity, emergent christianity, faith, God, liberal christianity, religion
What’s a radical Christian?
Is it someone who eats granola and makes his own clothes? Is it the preacher spitting fire and brimstone at his congregation? Maybe it’s both; maybe it’s neither. The truth is that I don’t which one is more ‘Christian,’ which is ironic since I was raised in a Christian home. I did the rounds of Awana and Sunday School. I even went to a Christian school for two years.
The result is one very confused nineteen year old. What I heard in Awana and Sunday School means nothing to me. It leaves me cold and empty. The God I learned about as a child is not a God I want to serve. In fact, I’m not so sure that I want to serve anyone at all. I’m not good at serving people. I grumble. I judge and I begrudge. I serve out of a sense of duty and nothing more.
However, that’s not enough for me anymore. The Christians I’ve met recently have something that I don’t have. They’re alive in a way I’ve never known. I’m afraid of what they have, but I want it badly. What would it be like to really know God? To actually feel Him, and not a collection of sermon-induced emotions? I sense that there is Something there, and it is missing from my life.
Maybe being radical is wiping the slate clean and starting all over again. It certainly feels radical, to admit that I really know nothing about God. Sometimes I’m not even sure that He exists. I think that I have been feeling that way because the God of my childhood doesn’t exist. I’ve been looking in the wrong places for the wrong Person, and I think it’s time that I opened my eyes to the God that’s been there all along.
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I went through some of the same experiences as you with regard to Christianity, but I finally came to faith when I was 35. Although I don’t think I am ‘mentally ill’ I have also struggled with some issues. It may seem trite to ask, but have you made a sincere and clear acceptance of Jesus as your Saviour and Lord? I’ll follow your blog. Best regards.
Comment by René Greenwood November 1, 2007 @ 2:45 amI think that just the fact that you are asking these questions is positive, considering that you seem to be really yearning for something bigger than yourself. I like how Christ is called the bread of life. God must have understood that the soul can really hunger and thirst.
Maybe the philosophers and the religionists weren’t so far of afterall: Give them bread!
I hope you find the peace you seek.
Comment by manimalfiction November 1, 2007 @ 4:22 amI think of the salvation process as more than just a prayer; granted, the Bible says that you can’t be saved by works. However, it also says that faith without works is dead. For me, salvation isn’t about asking Jesus into your heart or any of the other trite sentiments you’ll hear in most churches on most Sunday mornings. Salvation is bigger than that; God is bigger than that.
I choose to make my way, Jesus’ way instead. I choose to stop living for myself, even though it’s frightening. That’s what salvation means to me.
Comment by axisone November 1, 2007 @ 4:30 amI love this sentiment-to obtain the mind of Christ. We must begin ever so slowly to think as He did. Salvation comes through struggle, but there must be an upward advance, and no fear. We must not fear that religion is more intelligent and honest than most desire.
Comment by manimalfiction November 6, 2007 @ 2:48 amHave you read “Mere Christianity” by C.S. Lewis?
I read Mere Christianity a long time ago, but it’s due for a second reading. I love CS Lewis.
Comment by axisone May 11, 2008 @ 1:40 pmI went to a Nazarene church for a full year, and never understood the salvation message.
Comment by Sue Melin October 13, 2008 @ 4:23 amI went down to an altar and said the sinners prayer, and absolutely NOTHING happened.
I said the same prayer every day for a year, BEGGING God to save me. Still nothing.
One day, my mom came in from the backyard and declared, “We have a religious fanatic living next door. All she talks about is Jesus.” My mom, sarcastic though she is, could not fool me…I could tell she was highly interested in what this woman had.
“Maybe she can tell me why this prayer isn’t working for me” I thought.
You see, Fellow Blogger, I had asked Jesus to come into my heart every single morning for an entire year. The prayer was always the same. I told Him that I believed in Him, and wanted Him to come in my heart. And He never did. Never. Until one day…
And that was the day that I found the woman next door. I waited until my mom was gone shopping, and then I traipsed across the grass, where I found her walking around in her backyard. True to form, she started gabbing. About everything. I kept talking and waited for her to bring up Jesus. She talked about our neighbors. And about her church. Still, no Jesus. Finally, she mentioned something about “born-again”. “Born again?” I asked her. “What’s that?” She answered “Oh, you know…(how did SHE know that I knew)…That’s when you ask Jesus into your heart.
“I DID THAT!” i screamed. “I DID THAT A MILLION TIMES, AND HE STILL NEVER CAME IN!” She said, “Well, Susan, you just didn’t believe that he would”.
HEllooooo!!!! How could she say I didn’t believe it? I mean, my goodness, I prayed the same thing every single day, there had to be some faith there.
But then, she gave me some verses to take home and read, and a booklet explaining it. It’s called “The New Birth” and it really opened my eyes.
I read John 6:47 where Jesus said “All that the Father gives me, will come to me, and whoever comes to me, I will in no wise cast out.”
I read the classic Revelations 3:20 “Behold, I (Jesus) stand at the door and knock. If any man opens the door, I will come in and sup with him, (fellowship), and he with
me” So anyway, when I really meditatied on these verses, I began to really understand my right to salvation, and was able to receive it.
I can’t explain it any better than this–when i meditated (pondered, considered) and really digested each verse thoroughly, it took root inside of me.
Meditation is true nourishment. NOt memorization (though that can lead to meditation.)
Okay, so I went home, and read the book thoroughly, and by the time that I was finished, I REALLY believed that Jesus would do what he promised, and receive me.
I felt like a shower went off inside of me when I prayed. I was clean, new, transformed, forgiven. I knew WITHOUT A DOUBT I was going to heaven, and was right with God. But the key is, I meditated on his word, and it took root.
Memorization without meditation, is like going shopping, looking at the food, and pretending you are eating it. That does not satisfy. Take those salvation verses you learned, and ponder them carefully. “But as many as received him, to Him gave he power to become sons (and daughters) of God…”
Let me know how that prayer turns out.
I’ve heard the salvation verses. By themselves, they are not convicting. That was my problem when I wrote this particular blog. I had heard every verse, and every argument. What I wanted was to watch a Christian who *wasn’t* a religious fanatic. I was tired of all the Jesus talk. I wanted something real instead.
I am a Christian, and I believe that I was when I wrote this blog. All Christians experience doubts, and my experiences with religious hypocrisy fed those doubts.
I no longer doubt that I am a child of God. I just wish I hadn’t allowed people to convince that I wasn’t. I’ve never fit in with fundamentalist Christians, and it is fundamentalist Christianity that I’ve always been exposed to. I was (and am) so overjoyed to find Christians who don’t condemn me for being pro-choice, pacifist and *gasp* Democratic. I am so happy to finally find Christians that live the gospel, that get their hands dirty in the inner cities and detention homes. It gives me hope.
Comment by axisone October 13, 2008 @ 4:47 am