Diary of a Disturbing Influence

A and E’s latest foray into reality television tackles the difficult subject of mental illness. Its newest show, “Obsessed,” documents the lives of those who suffer from severe obsessive-compulsive disorder. It is the uniform severity of those cases that leads me to believe that A and E has deliberately filmed the most sensational cases they could find.

That’s not surprising. A and E does stand for Arts and Entertainment, and entertainment is a serious business. I suspect that “Obsessed” will thrive for the same reason that freak shows became popular during the 19th century. People like to be shocked. The difference is that 3.3 million Americans suffer from this disorder, and most of them do not exhibit the extreme behaviors exhibited by the subjects of this series.

I do not mean to downplay the severity of OCD. I am one of those 3.3 million Americans, and as such I am well acquainted with the difficulties presented by this illness. OCD can be crippling. It robs you of your self-confidence and chains you to your doubts. Like all mental illnesses, it is cruel and beneficial at turns. The same chemical imbalance that forces me to relive my worst moments also drives me to succeed. The trick is, as it always is, to find a balance.

However, I see no balance in A and E’s portrayal of OCD. The style of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) presented is as dramatic as the illness it is meant to correct. In one episode, a woman with a phobia of knives is order to hold a knife to her therapist’s throat. Although CBT does expose the patient to his or her worst fears, I have never heard of any therapist engaging in such a potentially dangerous activity. That is not as disturbing as the fact that therapy is a private process. It’s not meant to be sensationalized.

The sensational aspect of “Obsessed” could be useful. OCD is a misunderstood illness. It’s the disorder of the day. Everyone claims to be just a little bit OCD. “Obsessed” has the potential to shock these people into understanding how offensive their claims are to anyone who actually has the disorder. By exposing the public to extreme cases of OCD, “Obsessed” could engage in some CBT of its own and force people to face their fear of mental illness. If “Obsessed” succeeds in destroying even some of the stigma that surrounds mental illness, I’ll be the first to recommend its renewal for a second season.

“Obsessed” could also be a resource for people newly diagnosed with OCD. The Internet’s a useful tool, but reading posts in a support forum pales beside watching someone else struggle with hair pulling. I recently unearthed my old notebooks from the era of my diagnosis. The handwriting alone betrays the state of my mind at the time. It is stiff, upright and childlike in its precision. It’s more reminiscent of a penmanship exercise than a journal, and in a way, that is what it was: an exercise graded by the most unreasonable teacher imaginable. At its most severe, my OCD focused on my handwriting, and I will never forget erasing my notes and rewriting them until my brain told me that things were as good as they could possibly get. I will also never forget the overwhelming feeling of loneliness that eventually brought me to the brink of suicide.

If “Obsessed” can break through that kind of loneliness for the newly diagnosed, I’ll do more than recommend its renewal. I’ll damn well write the channel and picket the offices if it’s cancelled.