Diary of a Disturbing Influence


I See What You Did There, Cedarville
April 26, 2009, 5:47 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

Cedarville University, never the greatest fan of academic freedom, has finally shut the door on its student newspaper. CU’s Public Relations department had censored the paper for about a semester in order to limit controversial content, but apparently those censors were not conservative enough for CU.

I take a certain amount of pride in knowing that my articles annoyed the trustees of Cedarville University. It means I did my job. I made people think, and the people who refused to think simply got angry as they always do. I didn’t think it was possible for my opinion of Cedarville to drop, but it has. News flash, CU: Censorship is not ok. You don’t have the right to tell people what to say unless they are participating in hate speech. You are not my babysitter. You are not my parent. You are not my pastor or my counselor or my conscience. Your job is to educate me, and you have failed this job miserably.

I feel that I’ve wasted tens of thousands of dollars on this school. CU specializes in brainwashing, not education. It’s also difficult not to see this as a personal attack. I’m aware that my articles only contributed to the problem; they did not create the problem. The world does not revolve around me and My Edgy Feminist Style. But I do think I’ve been misunderstood, and that no one’s bothered to correct the misunderstanding. Why is it so terrible to identify oneself as a feminist? Feminism is not so radical as people seem to think. Feminism is about equal respect and equal opportunities–no more and no less.

I don’t want to go down in history as that liberal feminist girl. Who would? I don’t want to be defined by my politics or my ideology, and yet because I am outspoken, that’s the label that CU’s administration and student body has pinned to me. It makes me easier to understand. I’m a known quantity and I’m that much easier to dismiss.

And they did. They dismissed me, and my friends, and all the work we put into the student newspaper. That’s not all right. And we won’t be quiet about it. I invite you to visit the following two sites: http://chronicle.com/temp/email2.php?id=ydzqSHptgsHpmY9qRdCgCfjxVnfGrShq and http://blog.christianitytoday.com/ctliveblog/archives/2009/04/cedarville_stud.html for more info on Cedarville’s latest Epic Fail.



Dannah Gresh’s response

Note: the student newspaper of Cedarville University (which has been shut down by the university since this letter was written) is called. Not The Cedars, but apparently this alumna did not know that.

 

Now for the letter, which was sent to Cedars’ editor, and not to me:

 

Is it coincidence that one of the nations most vocal opponents to immodesty hit the Cedarville campus the same day that Sarah Jones’ critique of Sanctify Ministries’ Modesty Panel, sensationally entitled “Immodesty and Misogyny,” hit The Cedars? I don’t believe in coincidence. I believe God ordains things. With that supposition, I couldn’t just turn a blind eye to what I saw in my alma maters newspaper on March 19, 2009.

 

Let’s start with where I do agree with the opinion piece. First, “modesty [does] go both ways.” Both men and women have a great responsibility to refrain from dressing like sex objects.  Agreed. Second, there is never an excuse for a guy or a girl acting out on sexual thoughts regardless of how someone near them has dressed. We should “hold them responsible for their actions.” Agreed.

 

Ironically, these two points of agreement are actually where I begin voicing a concern with the Sarah.  If she can make the statement that “modesty goes both ways,” why is it offensive that a women’s ministry led by women would invite women to an event to learn a little more about how they can do their part? Does modesty really go both ways? Either it does or it doesn’t. But you can’t say it does and then complain when women take responsibility for their part. Instead of applauding the attempt, it was compared to the “morality police [she’s] read about in Saudi Arabia and Iran.” Talk about sensationalizing an issue! Sounded like the atheists and Americans United for the Separation of Church and State who have sounded out against me as I speak out against immodesty in publications like USA TODAY, The Chicago Tribune and the Dallas/Fort Worth Star Telegram. They once called me “the Taliban!”

 

As far as stating that we should hold men who think sexual thoughts “responsible for their actions,” I agree. But in standing on this soap box, Sarah led those who did not attend the event to believe that the panel and event hosts blame women for the sexual thoughts of men. I did not attend the event, but I spoke with many who did. I understand that the men on the panel repeatedly stated their own responsibility for their thinking saying things like “We understand that this is still our problem” and “We are responsible.” One person told me they stated it “over and over.” There was no blame placed on women. Furthermore, I understand that even though only four men attended the event and that it was created for women, the panel and planners took time to discuss the kinds of clothing that men wear which causes temptation in women! This topic brought the male panel to a loss of words, so the mic was taken out into the crowd of women so they could clear the air about how guys need to be modest, too.  Did you miss that part of the event, Sarah?

 

What I missed is how the word misogyny was used in the headline of this piece? Exactly where did that come into the picture? I’m not even sure where to add the thought that the headline seemed to be something set up to get people to divert their attention from the real issue of modesty to female hatred, which isn’t the issue at hand. (I think that’s called a straw man fallacy.) The issue at hand is modesty vs. immodesty.

 

Here are a few facts. In 2000, the Medical Institute for Sexual Health, a group of OB/GYN’s committed to creating a medical cessation model to reduce teen sex listed the top five factors that place a teen (either male or female) at risk of sexual activity. One of those factors is “appears older than most.” How does a teen look older? By the way that they dress and present themselves. Of course, there are exceptions. Some students just look older, but in large part it is an issue of modesty. This factor has remained a indicator of risk since identified in 2000.

 

In 2007, the American Psychological Association released a task force report on the Sexualization of Girls. The findings of the two years of study state that music lyrics, Internet content, video games and clothing are now being marketed to younger and younger girls. The smutty content of the marketing is linked to eating disorders, low self-esteem, depression, and early sexual activity. Ironically, this early sexualization presented to young girls has “negative consequences on girls’ ability to develop healthy sexuality.” The report stated that “it is of concern when girls at increasingly younger ages are invited to try on and wear clothes designed to highlight female sexuality. Wearing such clothing may make it more difficult for girls to see their own worth and value in any other way than sexually.” (Apa Report, pg 14) Immodesty is linked to some pretty sad stuff, Sarah, and there’s nothing wrong with creatively addressing it.

 

If right about now you’re applauding me for writing this, you might be surprised that I’ve not been writing to Sarah at all. I’ve been looking for you! I’ll make a drastic assumption that if you agree with me you probably don’t hold to a lot of the same ideals as Miss Jones. As far as I can tell from the three articles she wrote for the March 19 Cedars she is a left-wing Democrat feminist who is possibly a supporter of abortion (“Standing on the Promises of Change”) and sympathetic to homosexual “rights” (“Lyons Dulls The Ax”).  I could be wrong, but her writing voice overall leads any reader to these assumptions. And that’s a problem for me. The Cedars represents Cedarville. And I know that Cedarville as a whole does not define a woman’s role the same way that Sarah does in these articles. There’s nothing wrong with having a woman with this voice writing for The Cedars. What’s wrong is that you have given her so much voice. The lack of voice from a Biblical woman (egalitarian or complementarian) is a sad commentary on you, not Sarah. Women of Cedarville, I love you. You know that I do, but if you cannot represent and defend true Biblical womanhood in The Cedars where you have the support of godly faculty and staff at an outstanding Christian university, how do you expect to wage the war in the public sector when you have to speak to entities the likes of The Wall Street Journal and The Philadelphia Inquirer?

 

Ask the Lord what your role in re-shaping The Cedars might be. Ask him if you’ve been complacent in representing the Biblical view of womanhood in your own student paper. And then, obey him in whatever he calls you to do.



modesty article

This article probably won’t make much sense to the fortunate readers who do not attend Cedarville University. However, I believe that conservative Christianity’s obsession with female modesty is oppressive and therefore I’m reposting my article here. I will also post a response from Dannah Gresh, the conservative co-author of Lies Women Believe.

Here’s the article:

First, a disclaimer: I am not overly concerned with the issue of modesty. I do not get up in the morning and worry about the tightness of my jeans and T-shirts because I find tight clothing uncomfortable, and therefore I do not wear it. I do not see myself as temptation on two legs (it’s an objectifying concept, and after all I am a feminist). Yet according to the men of Sanctify Ministries’ Modesty Panel, that is exactly what I am: temptation.

 

I find the very idea of an all-male Modesty Panel offensive. To me, it reeks of the morality police I read about in Saudi Arabia and Iran. But in the interests of fairness and yes, curiosity, I gave the Modesty Panel a try. I submitted four questions for the men and attended the Panel’s meeting on March 12th to hear their answers.

 

Although my particular questions were not answered, I received great insight into the mind of the typical Cedarville male. Since I have a teenage brother and graduated from a public high school, much of what was said came as no shock. It was the ideology behind the women’s questions and the men’s answers that I found truly shocking.

 

I’m not sure what to call this ideology. It goes beyond simple sexism, since the men claim that they are trying to respect women. But it certainly contains elements of sexism. There is no other reason for a group of men to feel that they have the righteous authority to tell a group of women how to dress. Clothe the sexism in religion, and it becomes even more insidious.

 

“We’re not trying to tell you what to do,” was a phrase repeated many times throughout the Panel. But when a religious man tells an equally religious woman that if she wears a particular piece of clothing it will force him to envision her naked, that is as good as a command.

 

The questions ran the gamut of the female wardrobe. From skinny jeans to wedding dresses, no article of clothing was left undiscussed. And the men were more than happy to offer their candid opinions. “Don’t wear those pajama bottoms to Chucks, girls, because if you do that it makes boys think about bed, and that makes them think about sex.”  “Be careful how you sit, because sitting a certain way makes you look easy.” 

 

The responsibility of modest behavior was put completely on women. In a subculture that reveres male headship, this is ironic. We women are told that men are our divinely ordained leaders–just don’t expect them to control their thoughts around an errant bra strap.

 

I believe this double standard is best illustrated by the conversation I had shortly before the Panel began. A male student stated that relaxing the dress code to include jeans would encourage women to dress immodestly. “I shouldn’t have to look at that!” he complained. When I asked him why he was looking at women like that anyway, he stared at me and exclaimed “That’s just how we’re wired!”

 

That is a cop-out. It is the coward’s response to a personal problem that he is not willing to confront. Should we excuse the alcoholic because that’s how she’s wired? The pedophile and the murderer are not excused for their crimes because of some genetic predisposition. Any student of psychology can tell you that some criminals are predisposed to criminal behavior. But this is the bottom line: we still send those criminals to jail. We still hold them responsible for their actions.

 

Modesty goes both ways. Women have a responsibility to themselves and to their male peers to refrain from dressing like sex objects. However, even if a woman fails this responsibility, men have a responsibility to respect her as a human being. They do not have that duty simply because they are men, but because they are human beings and women are their equals. And if a man can’t look at a woman in pajamas without thinking about sex, the problem is probably not with the woman’s pajamas.



is religion anti-feminist?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/aug/19/gender.religion

In her article “I’m Not Praying” Cath Elliot makes the claim that religion is anti-feminist. “Christianity is and always has been antithetical to women’s freedom and equality, but it’s certainly not alone in this.” she writes. “It’s the patriarchy made manifest, male-dominated, set up by men to protect and perpetuate their power.”

Although Elliot does have a point–religion has been used to justify horrible human rights abuses that include the systematic oppression of women–her thesis is flawed. Religion is not inherently anti-feminist. Neither is Christianity. Individual Christians are often sexist, as are millions of people who may or may not be religious. The fact that the Christian God is portrayed as male doesn’t make Him sexist; if we want to be really theologically accurate, God is a Spirit and doesn’t even have a gender. He’s even ascribed female characteristics at certain points in the Bible.

There’s the problem of the Old Testament, of course. The Old Testament appears contradictory in its treatment of women, first treating them as property but also featuring strong women like Mariam, Deborah and Jael. The two books named for women are in the Old Testament, and both feature women who blatantly used their sexual power to achieve their own ends. These women are still celebrated by Christians, although the fact that Ruth “lay down” with Boaz and that Esther was a concubine are usually ignored.

I think it is Christianity’s traditional attitude toward women that feeds Elliot’s perception. My personal experience has been similar to hers. Most conservative Christians I know are sexist at least on some level. Some are more vocal than others. Worst of all, the women of this movement allow themselves to be oppressed. They are taught the lie that a woman’s place is at home, that she cannot preach or teach men, and that her main function is to be a subservient breeding machine for the head of the household. This is propaganda on the scale of Orwell’s Doublespeak, only this time the Party’s slogan (“War is Peace; Freedom is Slavery; Ignorance is Strength”) is lauded as Biblical truth.

Christian women have taken gradual steps toward gender equality. The United Methodist Church, the United Church of Christ, the Reformed Church of America, and certain Presbyterian and Anglican congregations permit female ministers. These churches recognize the inherent equality of women with men. But most denominations still forbid female leadership. The Southern Baptist Convention (with whom Cedarville is affiliated) recently reaffirmed its adherence to traditonal male headship. This creates a poisonous environment for women, and adds to the unflattering perception that people like Cath Elliot have of Christianity.

As long as women believe the conflicting idea that although they are of equal worth to men they are to be submissive to them, Christianity will be used as a tool to oppress and domineer females. Those of us who don’t swallow that lie need to take a stand. We need to reject the false dichotomy projected by Christian patriarchy. Until then, Cath Elliot’s point stands largely unchallenged.



the story of an election
November 8, 2008, 12:49 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , ,

On a brutally hot day in the summer of 2008, Barack Obama visited a blue-collar town in the Appalachian mountains. That town is my town, and I was there to hear him speak. My friends and I had waited in line for hours, and sweat had glued my shirt to my back. I hate waiting in line. I hate getting up early. But I held out, and when I finally walked into that high school gymnasium I realized that the wait had been worth it.

You have to understand where I come from, and what kind of family I have. I am from the South, and I am the direct descendent of slave owners. In fact, my family still has the ledger with the slaves’ names, ages and prices. We are not racists any more, but that is my history. It is the history of many Southerners. There is a reason why Martin Luther King Jr. was killed in the South, and it is not because the South is an open, tolerant place.

Years of hearing racist jokes from my classmates and years of watching the Confederate flag displayed in pickup trucks had not prepared me for what I saw in that gymnasium. The South had come together. The gym was equal parts white and black. I never had any hope that I would ever see such a thing but on that day, I did.

The coal miners sat beside the residents of our low-income housing complex and cheered. As for me, I was busy absorbing the scene around me. I am a cynical person, and I boast a healthy distrust of politicians. I’d supported Barack Obama before he came to my hometown, but that morning convinced me that there was something unusual about this campaign. Obama had done what no other politician had been able to do. He had brought us together.

Fast forward to my return to campus. The reaction to Obama was what you’d expect from 3000 conservative Christians. I had my salvation questioned. I was called ignorant and foolish. I was told that Obama was the Antichrist, and I was told that even if he wasn’t the Antichrist his government would lead to the end of the world.

And do you know something? It already has led to the end of the world. The world as we know it is changed. It is over. And I believe that is a very good thing. Last night, I attended an Obama party thrown by a campus organization called P.E.A.C.E Project. It was the rowdiest party I’d ever attended. There were McCain supporters there, but they were there to support us. No one criticized anybody else. I saw people dance with complete abandon. I saw people with tears running down their faces. I heard a McCain supporter apologize for not understanding what Obama’s election meant to us.

We had been brought together again. Of course, this second time was not just Obama’s doing. God was there that night. And while I doubt he has a political affiliation, I think He was content. On that night, the descendents of slaves and the descendents of the men and women who had owned them danced together.

If I ever have children, and if those children ever ask me about this election, that is the story I will tell them. It is the story that warms me in spite of the insults I hear from ignorant people. It is the story that, for a moment, brought me frighteningly close to patriotism. It is the story of a people, and how they fought, and how they won.

Congratulations, President-Elect Barack H. Obama. Don’t let us down.



confessions of a whiner
November 5, 2008, 9:02 pm
Filed under: Christianity, Real Life | Tags: , , , , ,

I have come to the painful realization that I am a whiner. It’s painful because like most people, I tend to think I’m better than everyone else. Now, if you asked me if I thought I was better than everyone else, I would say “Of course not!” But that would be a lie, if an unintentional one. The unvarnished truth is that I am selfish and bitter and angry, and I like to get my own way.

Yes, I am a hypocrite. I leave plates of food uneaten because I don’t like how it is prepared, and then I criticise the wasteful habits of Americans. I complain about my grades when it is usually my own fault for being lazy. I call my friends intolerant for daring to voice their own opinions, and then complain when the same is said of me. I whine with the polished drama of an operatic diva. I am small and petty, and worst of all, I claim to follow Christ.

If I really followed Christ, I would be struck dumb with gratitude at the incredible bounty I’ve given. Then I would seek to give that bounty to other people. I don’t do that. I talk about it and I encourage other people to do it. Somehow I avoid actually following through. If I really followed Christ, I would be gracious to people with other opinions. I would listen, and acknowledge the possibility that my own views are wrong. If I really followed Christ, I would be compelled to perform to the best of my ability in everything I did because I everything I do reflects Him.

I dwell in my bitterness, and I savor my anger. I elevate my own hurts to the level of sacred wounds. I take up a cross, but it’s my own cross: I built it myself and I nailed myself to it. And then the light sneaks in. I pause the pity party long enough to remember Jesus, and all my pettiness burns away to a single tiny pinprick like I’ve been staring into the sun. I am a whiner, but I don’t have to stay that way. I am hurt, but I can be healed. I’ve been freed, so why do I insist on remaining enslaved?

So I step outside my box. I come down from my petty cross. I walk away, and walk forward into that gleam of light. Whining isn’t necessary when you realize you already have everything you could ever need.



the cedarville question
October 7, 2008, 3:12 am
Filed under: College, Real Life | Tags: , , ,

 

“If you hate this place so much, why are you still here?”

It’s a question that isn’t really a question. It is instead an accusation, a demand; a cry of Halt and state your business! I have somehow been identified as an intruder. Possibly my casual dress has given me away, although it is usually my words and irreverent jokes that do the trick. Perhaps I’ve made a cynical comment about the lack of female speakers in chapel or complained about how expensive it was to comply with the dress code. In the end it doesn’t matter. I’ve been revealed as an imposter, and there’s still this question to answer.

“Oh, no, I don’t hate this place.” And I don’t. If I did I wouldn’t be here. Sometimes the questioner realizes that and leaves me alone, but they typically don’t. The first question is nearly always followed by a second, even trickier query: “So, why did you even come here in the first place?” That’s the one that makes me swallow hard. I have a list of reasons that I draw from when I have to deal with this question.

1. I had a scholarship: True, although I don’t anymore.
2. Cedarville has good academics: True, but I was accepted to better schools.
3. I wanted to attend a Christian college: Not exactly.
4. It was seven hours away from home: True, true, true.

When I really examine my ‘reasons,’ I find that they’re not reasons at all (except maybe for number four). So why exactly did I choose Cedarville? When I go to chapel and stare around and ask myself how the hell I got myself into this mess, what do I answer myself?

1. It made my parents happy: True. Being the black sheep gets old.
2. I wanted to prove I could actually stay in Christian school: True. My high school expulsion made me bitter.
3. I didn’t trust myself at a secular school: Partially true.
4. I thought Cedarville was one of the less restrictive Christian schools: True. And in many ways, that is true. After all, I am allowed to wear pants…

So now I’m here, and I’ve stayed. Not so much out of love for Cedarville, but out of a desire to stay close to my friends and the church I attend while in school here. I follow the dress code and I usually go to chapel. I tolerate ROTC’s presence on campus even though I believe that Christians have no business entering the military. I refrain from hitting someone whenever I hear my fellow Democrats referred to as babykillers. And still I get that question. Why are you here? I wish they’d be honest and just tell me to go home.



when being pro-life means being pro-choice

I am a Christian, and I am pro-choice.

Go ahead and gasp. Get the shock out of your system. It’s true: I’m a pro-choice Christian. We do exist, although I’ll be the first to admit that we’re an endangered species. Evangelical culture is not friendly to our kind; in fact, to be pro-choice is, often, to be shunned. I would even go as far to say that pro-lifers are harsher on pro-choice Christians than they are on secular activists. We’re supposed to know better, or at least that’s what we’re told.

Evangelical rhetoric has declared abortion a sin without acknowledging the fact that the Bible is silent on the issue. It’s true that the pattern of the Scriptures shows that human life is valuable. That is why I am pro-choice. I believe that all human life is valuable, and that includes the lives of the women that seek abortions. A ban on abortion would not stop abortions from taking place, and illegal abortions often kill or maim the women who have them performed.

The implication of the pro-life label is that anyone who disagrees with a pro-lifer is anti-life. This is a ridiculous conclusion. How exactly can one be against life? It’s impossible. No one (no one alive, anyway) is against life. The abortion controversy is about choice. Women deserve the right to control their bodies. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to agree with it. But if you believe that the lives of women are as important as the lives of men, you will protect their rights. These rights include access to safe medical procedures.

Until we have the ability to define and measure personhood, we do not have the right to condemn abortion. We certainly don’t have the right to condemn the women who have them. If we truly believe that human life is valuable, even sacred, then we will protect human rights. A woman is a human being. We don’t know if the same is true for a fetus. Therefore, we protect the woman first. There’s nothing unChristian about that.

 



stewardship and family planning

My mom and I stumbled upon a Discovery Health Channel special on the Duggar family. If you haven’t heard of the Duggars, check out this link: http://health.discovery.com/convergence/duggars/duggarfamily.html. They have 17 children (18 if you count the one on the way) and believe that birth control is ’selfish’ since the Bible says that children are a blessing from the Lord. Families that adhere to this philosophy are called ‘quiverfull’ families in reference to Psalm 127: 3-5: “…blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them (children).”

I don’t intend to posit that children are anything but a blessing; I believe the Bible is quite clear on the subject. However, the Bible also encourages good stewardship. In Genesis, we’re commanded to be good stewards of the earth. The stewardship motif doesn’t stop there. The Scriptures are packed with examples of the consequences brought by bad stewards and the blessings brought by good ones. One of Jesus’ most famous parables deals with stewardship, and the Apostle Paul instructs early believers to be sure that an Elder is a good steward of his household ( http://www.bible.org/page.php?page_id=433; as an egalitarian I disagree with some parts of this commentary but it provides a closer look at the stewardship element of the office).

Here’s my question: is it good stewardship to have a Duggar-sized family? I would argue that it is actually very poor stewardship indeed. It’s not selfish to want to control the size of your family. It’s common sense. If you know you don’t have the resources to care for a large family then you have no business having one. Plus, if you’re using all your available resources (time, money, etc) to provide for you and yours, what do you have left to contribute to the kingdom of God?

When you consider the quiverfull philosophy from this angle, their argument is turned on its head. Birth control suddenly doesn’t seem so selfish, does it?

 



how do you end a war?
March 26, 2008, 10:03 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

I saw an ad today that really caught my attention. It asked, “How do you end a war?” Good question. I’m not sure how one advertises peace, but kudos to whoever designed it for trying. Anyway, it made me think. How do you end a war?

 I’m a pacifist, which might come as a surprise. I’m not a vegan bong-smoking hippie, which is what most people seem to think of when they hear the word ‘pacifist.’ I just think that war is a completely deplorable, abhorrent practice. What gives us the right to take another human life? I don’t understand how a Christian can not be a pacifist. If we’re all made in the image of God, then killing another person is, in a round-about sort of way, destroying a picture of God. The more we kill, the less we know of the divine. That’s a frightening thought. So I detest war. I want it to end. But I don’t know how to do it. It’s something on which I’ve spent much thought. Eventually I came to the conclusion that the only way to end war is to change human nature, which is impossible. Even if we eliminated poverty and provided the world’s population with an education, there would still be war. Educated rich people can be quite greedy. Greed is cause enough for war: greed for power, greed for land, greed for glory.

In short, people aren’t perfect. Until we are, we will possess a bizarre need to conquer each other. War cannot be stopped. It can be limited, but human beings will always hurt each other. We can do what we can to prevent it, and we should. But it will still happen. Welcome to Earth.