Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Cedarville University, Christianity, conservative christianity, Dannah Gresh, modesty, patriarchy
This article probably won’t make much sense to the fortunate readers who do not attend Cedarville University. However, I believe that conservative Christianity’s obsession with female modesty is oppressive and therefore I’m reposting my article here. I will also post a response from Dannah Gresh, the conservative co-author of Lies Women Believe.
Here’s the article:
First, a disclaimer: I am not overly concerned with the issue of modesty. I do not get up in the morning and worry about the tightness of my jeans and T-shirts because I find tight clothing uncomfortable, and therefore I do not wear it. I do not see myself as temptation on two legs (it’s an objectifying concept, and after all I am a feminist). Yet according to the men of Sanctify Ministries’ Modesty Panel, that is exactly what I am: temptation.
I find the very idea of an all-male Modesty Panel offensive. To me, it reeks of the morality police I read about in Saudi Arabia and Iran. But in the interests of fairness and yes, curiosity, I gave the Modesty Panel a try. I submitted four questions for the men and attended the Panel’s meeting on March 12th to hear their answers.
Although my particular questions were not answered, I received great insight into the mind of the typical Cedarville male. Since I have a teenage brother and graduated from a public high school, much of what was said came as no shock. It was the ideology behind the women’s questions and the men’s answers that I found truly shocking.
I’m not sure what to call this ideology. It goes beyond simple sexism, since the men claim that they are trying to respect women. But it certainly contains elements of sexism. There is no other reason for a group of men to feel that they have the righteous authority to tell a group of women how to dress. Clothe the sexism in religion, and it becomes even more insidious.
“We’re not trying to tell you what to do,” was a phrase repeated many times throughout the Panel. But when a religious man tells an equally religious woman that if she wears a particular piece of clothing it will force him to envision her naked, that is as good as a command.
The questions ran the gamut of the female wardrobe. From skinny jeans to wedding dresses, no article of clothing was left undiscussed. And the men were more than happy to offer their candid opinions. “Don’t wear those pajama bottoms to Chucks, girls, because if you do that it makes boys think about bed, and that makes them think about sex.” “Be careful how you sit, because sitting a certain way makes you look easy.”
The responsibility of modest behavior was put completely on women. In a subculture that reveres male headship, this is ironic. We women are told that men are our divinely ordained leaders–just don’t expect them to control their thoughts around an errant bra strap.
I believe this double standard is best illustrated by the conversation I had shortly before the Panel began. A male student stated that relaxing the dress code to include jeans would encourage women to dress immodestly. “I shouldn’t have to look at that!” he complained. When I asked him why he was looking at women like that anyway, he stared at me and exclaimed “That’s just how we’re wired!”
That is a cop-out. It is the coward’s response to a personal problem that he is not willing to confront. Should we excuse the alcoholic because that’s how she’s wired? The pedophile and the murderer are not excused for their crimes because of some genetic predisposition. Any student of psychology can tell you that some criminals are predisposed to criminal behavior. But this is the bottom line: we still send those criminals to jail. We still hold them responsible for their actions.
Modesty goes both ways. Women have a responsibility to themselves and to their male peers to refrain from dressing like sex objects. However, even if a woman fails this responsibility, men have a responsibility to respect her as a human being. They do not have that duty simply because they are men, but because they are human beings and women are their equals. And if a man can’t look at a woman in pajamas without thinking about sex, the problem is probably not with the woman’s pajamas.
Filed under: Christianity, Real Life, patriarchy | Tags: egalitarianism, feminism, patriarchy, quiverfull, vision forum, visionary daughters
I’ve encountered Christian patriarchy in one form or another since childhood, but until recently, I didn’t have a name for it. I started questioning it at age seven when I demanded to know why our church made girls wear skirts. “I don’t know, honey,” said my mother. “Well, that’s stupid,” I told her, and she didn’t argue. My mother is an outdoors person. She was a tomboy who played with Tonka trucks instead of dolls, and to this day she loves nothing more than to fish in a mountain stream on a fall day. You don’t wear skirts when you go fishing.
You can’t climb trees in them, either. I discovered this when I was eight. I attempted climbing our apple tree in a dress, which ripped. Mom said: “Sarah, you can wear a dress or climb trees. Not both.” I chose the trees and I’ve never looked back. My life has not been empty or unfulfilled because of that childhood decision. I don’t feel that I am somehow unfeminine because I like climbing trees or hate wearing dresses or better yet, plan to pursue a career. Organizations like Vision Forum and Visionary Daughters would have us believe that unmarried women should live at home until their eventual marriage. Apparently, marriage is to be the goal of every woman’s life. A career is unthinkable. Her sole job is to be a keeper at home, and her boss is her husband (and, allegedly, God). Independence? Higher education? Dating? Goodbye to them.
My parents have always told me that if I didn’t go to college, they were kicking me out after I was 18. They put great store in the ability to fend for oneself, and that is what I and my brother have been trained to do. We were encouraged to follow our dreams, to use our God-given abilities. Not once was I criticised as sinful or unwomanly because I preferred reading books to cooking or sewing. I am an International Studies major. I will be studying in Wales for the fall semester of 2009, and I’m hoping for an internship in DC next spring. Keep at home? No, thank you. I love to travel and I love to be on my own, and I don’t doubt that God’s made me that way for a reason.
I want to marry some day, maybe even have children. But it’s not my priority, and why should it be? My priority should be serving God. It’s a priority that I am trying to keep a priority. Other things like to creep in, but that’s life in this world. I’m grateful that my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn’t do something with my life. I’m glad that my mother thinks it’s wierd for girls my age (19) to marry. She is of the firm conviction that the Quiverfull and Patriarchal camps are out of their minds, and more importantly, out of the Scriptures. And I am glad that my father finally recognized that I do not need him or my little brother to protect me.
A godly family, indeed.
